Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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