You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize