You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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