what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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