i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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