so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
