Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize