East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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