you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
