I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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