and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
PANTIES FOUND
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