i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
