Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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