also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
