God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
