i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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