well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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