I think i peed on brittanys purse
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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