The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
