a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
