why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
