I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
