I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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