Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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