no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
