Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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