I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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