He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
