i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
