I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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