I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
