You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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