just come out here and I will go home with you...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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