He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
