Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
