bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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