Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
