Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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