if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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