my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you would pick up someone in the library
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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