Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
