ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
