she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
