Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
