The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
