Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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