dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
