my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize