i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
