It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
