We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
