Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
