How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
