I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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