so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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