That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
