Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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