Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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