That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
